I don't understand
by CharacterDevelopmentIsKey
Summary: A young Draco Malfoy dealing with another normal day in his life with his father Lucius. One Shot Warnings: child abuse


"Why are you such a _disappointment _Draco?" Lucius Malfoy spat into the pale young face of his 8 year old son. "Why do I consistently have to stop you from being an embarrassment?"

Draco gulped and altered his gaze down to the floor. Was it true? Was he such a big disappointment? His father said so, so it must be true. His father wouldn't lie. He was a poised individual who had no time for silly muggle games like lying, he hardly had time for Draco.

"Look up at me when I speak to you boy." Lucius said in a cold calculated voice that made the boy flinch. Steadily, Draco raised his eye line and was met with eyes of disgust. He couldn't do this. He just couldn't have the man he looked up to, glare at him like he was some blood traitor.

"Are you listening to what I am saying Draco?" The small blonde slightly nodded. "Speak."

Words that would usually be full of confidence turned into a wimpier. "Yes Father, I am listening."

Lucius leaned over Draco which made him feel even more smaller than he is. Draco felt even tinnier than the house elves. He was obviously weak. The warmth of his father's breath on the skin of his face made him shudder internally, but he successfully restrained from visibly flinching. He had to show his father that he was strong.

"Do you have anything to say about your disgraceful behaviour?"

"Father I don't understand what I did."

His father pensively stepped away from him.

It was true: Draco did not know what he did wrong. That day he'd been the perfect pureblood son. He quietly undertook his personal study set by his father in his quarters of the manor and did nothing else until he finished every task. Once he had finished he stayed silent, let the house elves bring him his food and waited for further instruction. He thought he did everything he was supposed to do.

It had been three minutes since Draco's father spoke. Which could only mean he was holding back to see whether Draco would understand what he did wrong. But he didn't.

Draco couldn't stand the deadly silence much longer "Father?"

"Yes?"

"I apologise for my actions."

The gap between him and his father got smaller once again.

"And what were these actions?"

He was rapidly trapping Draco into a hole, where he would suffocate.

"Father please, I don't know what I did."

Suddenly, before Draco could even comprehend what was happening, he was picked up by the collar of his shirt, leaving his feet dangling and cold eyes practically touching his juvenile face.

"Malfoy's. Do. Not. Beg."

Draco angrily shouted at himself in his head. **Malfoy's do not beg**. No wonder his father could only look at him in disgust, he couldn't even follow the simplest of rules. He was just stupid.

"Say something!" Lucius screamed in Draco's face.

"S-s-sorry father" Draco stuttered. Big mistake. Malfoy's do not stutter.

Draco falls into the desk in his bedroom as he is flung into it by the taller Malfoy.

"Malfoy's do not Stutter!" Lucius screamed "I come here to confront you on one dishonourable matter and you just show to me that you are more useless than I originally thought. You are a disgrace. Do you hear me? A disgrace."

Draco blinked back the forming tear drops in his silver eyes. Why was he so incompetent? He could only think of himself as an imbecile in that moment. He screwed his perfect, pureblood son day up. He always did.

Pain engulfed Draco's left side as his fathers cane made contact.

His father stepped back and sneered, "And you still are too senseless to understand what you did wrong."

Draco closed his eyes and listened to the heavy steps moving across the room and the ruffles of paper.

"Stand up Draco." A much more calm a collected voice spoke, but still had hints of anger folded into it.

Draco painfully obliged to his fathers orders.

"Here," Lucius said as he placed thick parchment into Draco's small trembling hands "Read it."

Draco knew in that moment that his father wanted to hear him read it out loud but the thought of stuttering again made his stomach curl. Still, he needed to show his father he was capable not fragile and powerless. So he oped the parchment and read the cursive title.

"The knock back jinx" Draco said in an as steady as possible voice as he could. Although he succeeded in keeping any emotion out of his voice, a wave of confusion hit him; this was the essay he wrote this afternoon as a part of his daily set studies. He spent hours researching in the Malfoy library and finding every possible resource he could use to write a coherent essay that met his fathers very high standards.

It is true, whilst most children of Draco's age were playing outside and socialising with their peers, Draco himself was writing a 3 foot long essay on a jinx that not even first years at Hogwarts were able to academically touch. But those were normal children, and Draco was no ordinary child, he was a Malfoy after all and Malfoy's are prestigious academics who are above foolish norms.

"Well do you care to explain Draco why on earth you decided defy me and write an essay on a subject that I did not specify?" Lucius hissed.

"What?" The words spilled out of Draco's mouth before he could stop himself.

Pain returned to the 8 year old's right side of his frail already bruised body as the cane smashed into him once again.

"Do not speak out of turn!" Lucius said with another whack of the cane, "I have spent so much of my time trying to teach you how to be a proper Malfoy heir and all that has gotten me is a- Disobedient. Foolish. Shortsighted. Negligible. Boy. "

Books fell out of Draco's book shelf and stumbled on floor as Lucius' cane crashed into it.

"So what is it then? You didn't feel like writing?"

"No father." Draco whimpered, any left over resilience that was inside him had now been evaporated from the heat of his father's cane.

"You thought you knew better?"

"No father."

"Or is it and I think I might have found the answer, are you just naturally embarrassing?"

"No! I did what you told me to do father!"

"You what?" Lucius said in a dangerously low voice.

Small breaths of air escaped Draco's mouth as he stood up and looked his father straight in the eye "This morning, you told me to write an essay on Flipendo, so I wrote it"

Draco stayed in that position for what felt like hours to an eight year old boy, staring at his father, trying to assert the truth and not back down. He was just a kid who just did what his father wanted him to do. It didn't make sense in his mind why he was being punished. All he wanted in that moment was for his father to tell him he was over reacting and that Draco was not a disappointment, that he was worthy. And to complete the apology a hug to draw him into his fathers body where he'd feel safe and for once in his life _loved_.

But these actions could only ever be dreams.

Instead of receiving warmth, he received a cold, punishing slap.

"You do _not_ talk to your father like that boy!" Lucius hissed. "I asked you to write an essay on the Revulsion Jinx, not the knock back jinx. I cannot believe how careless you are."

It was over, there was no fight left to fight. All Draco could do in that moment was accept the fact he did wrong and take whatever punishment was coming his way. There was no point even trying to assert himself anymore.

"I'm sorry father." Draco said in defeat

"And what are you sorry for Draco?"

"Being forgetful and an overall disgrace to the Malfoy name."

Lucius grabbed hold of the small shoulders of a hurt eight year old boy and pushed him down so that he was kneeing.

"I ask you to do these essays Draco so that you can build skills that are important in rising ."

"I know father."

"And I expect you to be sharp and obey my instructions."

"I understand father."

"This is the only way you will succeed in life boy, without my strict guidance you'd be nothing. You don't have the natural talent, unlike all the likes of Zambini's child. Do you know how embarrassing that is for me?"

"It must be extremely embarrassing father." Draco answered. It was true, many of Father's associates had children who were bright and gifted, Draco knew for a fact their fathers did not have to be treat their sons in the way Draco had to be treated by his father. They were already flowing on the river of success, he however needed pushing and prodding. No wonder his father thought if him as a mistake.

"I don't know what to do with you anymore Draco. You're too disobedient for a child with great, how can I put this… concern."

No no no this cannot be happening, Draco was going to be disowned any minute. His father was giving up on him. How could he of been so stupid?! Why couldn't he have followed his father's instructions and have been the perfect pureblood son for just one day.

"No father please, I'll be better I promise!" Draco pleaded.

"Malfoy's don't plead" Lucius spitted. He turned his back to his only son and picked up his cane.

"I'll forgive you this time son."

"Oh thank you father." Draco tried his best not to jump up and run into his father arms.

He was grateful his father could be forgiving of a tarnished boy like himself.

"But," Lucius said as he grabbed Draco by the shoulders and forced him toward the silver stall that stood under his abused desk, "You're going to have to show me that your worth giving up so much of my time for; that you're going to improve and not be so dishonourable."

The young boy gave a small, confirmed nod. "Yes father, I promise to never disappoint you again."

In any normal family this would be the moment where the child runs into his fathers arms who would stroke his son's hair and whisper metaphors of reconfirmation, but also states that everything is going to be okay, that he loves his son more than anything in the world. In fact these small, typical actions is what Draco wished he could experience.

But that was not the case. It was never going to be the case. Not with pureblood and Malfoy traditions to withhold, not when he was so incapable of being the perfect son a man of Lucius' greatness deserved.

"I wish I could believe that Draco." Lucius' bitterness spat out onto his son's loyal face. He dramatically let out a sigh and messaged his silk like temples "There will be three parts to this punishment this time because its becoming apparent that the use of a single punishment is having no impact."

"Yes father, I agree."

Draco's father often acted like he would make these new ideas about ramifications up on the spot, but sometimes in what can only be described as Draco's most rebellious and secretive moments, he'd have thoughts that maybe his father would throughly plan these conversations through beforehand and would manipulate Draco into stepping into the carefully laid out, pre built catacombs.

However these thoughts would often quickly be replaced by ones of insurance, that his father was just trying to improve him and he got himself in this mess.

"First of all you will write the essay that I originally requested."

"Yes father." The Malfoy offspring replied.

"Secondly, you will write me 2 feet of parchment on why it is important to listen to me about educative assignments."

Thus so far the punishments did not seem to bad.

As if sensing his offsprings lack of fear, Lucius added: "By 11 pm tonight."

Draco's stomach twisted. It was 9 pm.

"Finally there will be a physical form of punishment." Draco shivered. Lucius softly grabbed Draco's chin and lifted it. "The severity of this will depend on how well you perform on these initial sanctions."

There was not enough time for precision.

Draco's father let go of him and authoritatively made an exit from his son's room, but before he left, he turned and said "Do not make me be harsh on you Draco."

And with a definitive slam of the door, Draco was signalled to get to work.

—

Sharp scribbles of a quill connecting to parchment could be heard through the hallways of the upper west wing of Malfoy Manor. The noise was being made by the heir of the Malfoy fortune who's soul purpose at that moment was to write an essay on why he must obey his father's instructions on education.

It was nearing the time when his father would return to examine his work. There was no wiggle room for taking a break, not even to stretch his small, aching hand. The temporary pain that he was currently experiencing was nothing to what could occur later, both physically and emotionally. So Draco kept scratching away, praying that the would manage to not only finish but also have a high quality essay.

_Lucius Malfoy attained 10 Outstandings in his OWLs and 3 Outstandings in his NEWT examinations at Hogwarts school, therefore it is important I listen to his advice in schooling as he holds more knowledge on the matter than my unqualified self…_

The paragraphs Draco was writing were at very high standard. His vocabulary was advanced and his punctuation was more than satisfactory. There was no comparison to even some wizards twice his age. He was a Malfoy after all and Malfoy's are academically superior.

Draco even knew some basic spells such as a stinging hex and a tripping jinx. This was technically not legal, but Lucius Malfoy was not one to follow the law and allowed his son to use his spare wand so that they would not be tracked. However Draco knew, even at his young age, that it didn't matter if his father got caught teaching him spells, he's get away with it. The influence of Lucius Malfoy was strong.

However he'd never allow his son to have a wand out of his sight because Draco was too disobedient to be trusted with the responsibility.

Just as Draco was finishing his last paragraph, he heard a faint sound of footsteps. 'Is that father already?' He thought. Suddenly his heart rate started to rapidly increase. Although he was nearly finished, he had not yet got the chance to read over what he had written and more importantly he had not got to writing a conclusion on the essay he so stupidly should have done early on in the day. What was his father going to do to him? How is it that he can never do what his father simply asks of him? Whatever was coming he deserved it. He deserved every punishment he received. He was just so incompetent.

But wait he had to calm down. Malfoy's do not behave in this way. They don't panic, especially in the presence of someone who was above them.

Draco took a deep breath in as the door of his bedroom slowly opened.

He was expecting to see a broad shadow which would cast darkness over his room. However that was not what happened. Light entered.

"Mother?" Draco whimpered.

"Yes darling it's me, I hope I didn't scare you." The easy gentle tone of his mother's sweet, caring voice instantly calmed him down.

Her soft hands found their way to the light platinum hair of her son and softly stroked it for a while. This was heaven to Draco. This is when he felt at ease and that the world wasn't against him.

"I was just coming to check on you love, your father seems to be in a mood."

Shame filled Draco's cheeks. "That would be my fault mother."

His mother let out a sigh. "What did you do this time?"

Great. Another parent he has disappointed today. He might as well

"We-well"

"Malfoy's don't stutter my lovely" warmth reached Draco as he felt the fingers of his mother's hands enclose around his own.

"Sorry Mother."

"It's okay, now tell me what you did to warrant your father's rage."

"I wrote the wrong essay." Narcissa eyes widened. "I was supposed to write about the Revulsion Jinx, but I wrote about the knock back jinx."

"Oh Draco." An emotion filled his mothers eyes, but It was blurred and illegible to him. He settled on disappointment as that's all a mistake like Draco could ever produce.

All of a sudden the image of unfinished pieces of parchment flashed before Draco's eyes.

"Mother you have to leave, I have to finish something."

Warmth drifted away.

Draco was too proud to tell his mother what he was finishing. The thought of her finding out what his sanctions were greatly irritated his undeveloped mind. As stupid as it seems, the reason for this was because he knew his mother could stop his father with her passionate lips and although it would be nice to not have to endure a physical punishment, he was hoping that this could be avoided by his own merit, not because he was 'a weak mummy's boy'.

"But darling, I wish to discuss this further." Narcissa moaned. She tried to comfort Draco's bruised shoulders, but he jerked away.

"Just go away mother!" Draco snapped.

Hurt was thickly spread across his mothers face. "Okay, whatever you say."

Draco tried to swallow down his guilt as his mother walked away. He always did this. He put pleasing his father over everything. But that was what he had to do to be a good Malfoy heir. That and finish this essay.

—

"Well Draco, hand me the essays." Lucius Malfoy demanded to his only son.

Draco was quick to obey.

As his father sat in his stern office chair, reading the abundant sentences on jinxes and education, Draco stood proudly watching him. He knew that he had done enough achieve. He finished both essays in time and even managed to have good structure.

Although Draco was knowing enough to realise this wouldn't change his father's opinion of him, this was a punishment after all, he had belief that the next punishment would not be harsh.

It wasn't an unreasonable thought as he already had bruises scattering his body from his earlier confrontation with his father, so surely his essays were acceptable enough for him to succeed and miss further punishment.

When Lucius was done reading, he put the essays down slowly on to the table and made a hand gesture to Draco, indicating him to step forward.

He obeyed.

Draco stood with the best posture he could muster, despite the fact he felt like he could fall asleep any moment.

"Your essays are tolerable." Lucius stated.

"Thank you father." Draco's heart slightly lifted.

"Not at the standard it should be for a pureblood wizard, but not terrible."

And his heart dropped.

"Of course sir, I will improve."

Lucius grabbed hold of his cane which was slanted next to his desk and stood up. "Yes you will have to improve."

He moved to stand above Draco with cavalier.

"I will father."

Lucius gave a firm nod and lifted Draco's chin by the tip of his cane. Draco's body betrayed him, making his muscles twitch.

"Now let's discuss the last part of you punishment."

Draco's eyebrows visibly frowned.

Lucius let out a haughty laugh as he swiftly removed his cane from his sons chin and started to circle around him.

"You didn't think you'd get off the hook with those lousy paragraphs did you?" Lucius laughed.

Draco did not dare to reply.

"Oh I see you were _proud_ of your effort."

Lucius abruptly stopped and spat "Like some mudblood."

A pang hit Draco's stomach. How could he have thought that his essay's were good? He was such an idiot. No better than the lowest of lows.

Lucius made his way back to his desk. "No, no. Those essays alone will not do. Just bit of sleazy writing isn't nearly enough. You understand that right Draco? You understand that you need to be further punished?"

"Yes sir"

"So that it will get in your imbecile like head that your current behaviour is not acceptable."

"Yes sir."

"For you own good."

Draco looked up and earnestly replied. "Yes, it's what I deserve father."

Lucius reached into his draw and pulled out a black leather whip. This whip was familiar with the skin and tissue protecting Draco's organs.

"I think 15 lashes will be suitable." These words crawled into Draco's ears and made him want to run to the Scottish highlands. But this is was earned. Or at least that's what he kept telling himself.

"Take off your shirt boy."

Draco hastily undid every button of his shirt.

He wished for an escape. A quidditch player to fly through the window and save him from his fate. His mother to walk and steal the painful instrument. He wished he could do what his father wanted and take it like a pureblood man. But he couldn't.

But he was also frozen. His legs were stiffening underneath him as his father raised the whip behind him.

No, no, no.

It's not that he wasn't used this form of punishment. Of course he was. He was always finding himself in this situation. Whether it was due to playing when he was bored, summoning Dobby for water when the house elf was preoccupied with more important tasks or for not presenting him self in a suitable state, he always found a way to make himself more accompanied with the whip.

But that didn't stop the feeling of panic.

Draco's father always liked to leave a long pause before breaking his skin for the first time, which would successfully increase Draco's heart rate to what felt like more than a trillion beats per minute. But for some reason the pause was longer this time.

No, no, no. Stop. STOP.

However it was always going to come.

**Whip. Crack.**


End file.
